All you need is Weeding. (Ba bu dah da dah)

The Yarden has been growing like crazy. Green things are sprouting out of the ground like Martian Zombies on the Day of Reckoning!

It's really incredible that after only a week, tasty consumables are already poking out of the ground, just waiting for us to pick and eat them. But unfortunately this is true for the weeds as well, so I have devoted this blog post to that always present, always monumental task of weeding.

We have all sorts of weeds coming up in the Yarden. Grass, clover, baby oak trees, and

dandelions, to name a few. I'm sure that many different types of weeds are trying to take over.

Here we see The Pooh properly getting rid of these weeds. We are hoping that after a few years in The Clink (the compost bin), they will have learned their lesson and will be ready to be a helpful and propitious part of the society that is the Yarden.

Look at that! Those are not weeds. Though to be perfectly honest, these leafy greens are transplanted from a friend's garden. But hey, it's something! Something that is not weeds!

This lettuce is a miracle in itself, however. For when we picked it up from our friend, it looked fairly wilted and just generally lackluster.

When we transplanted it into the Yarden we had to convince it to stop lazing around on the sofa and get out at play. Also, a little sun and water helped.

Lately the rain has been falling steady and strong, so we have not had to water that much (which is good), but also makes for messy yardening (which is gross). Krizby and The Pooh model the mud.

Isn't it glorious? You don't get any better than this aerated, composted, TLC'd soil. I bet all the plants reading this are super jealous and already planning their weekend getaways to the Yarden.

Here we see the Yardeners picking all that nasty, inedible green stuff out of the soil. So many Yardeners in one spot! From L-R: Coy, The Pooh's brother, Face, The Pooh, Krisby (hiding in the back in purple), and Maineiac. Nice work, everyone!

The Clink. This is where all the rotten and smelly ruffians go to "break down" in sorrow until they are useful to the Yarden again. Here they sit and think about what they've done, while older and more experienced

ruffage teach them the ways of the Yarden and what beautiful dirt they can become.

Mmmm. Compost. Bubbah shows the wonderful stuff we will be putting into the Yarden--eventually. Right now all it is good for is attracting flies.

Keep Yardening, my friends! And have a lovely day.

The Yardeners Plant: in which we put things in the ground and welcome a new Yardener!

We did it! The Yardeners have planted. Not all the seeds, though--mostly the herbs and spinach and lettuce. Considering how cold it has been recently (lows in the 40's, highs in the lower 60's), it's probably a good thing that we don't have everything in yet.

Here are some of the herbs. They are very content and happy herbs. Face printed out some nifty-looking labels for them so we remember where we planted them.

The only thing: we planted the herbs in the NW corner of the garden. This is the corner that will get the most standing water if it rains. But since this is the corner that gets the most sun, maybe that will be ok.

I don't know if you know this or not (a brief side note: those of you who are gardeners already, please let your minds wander as I inform the rest of our readers), but mint has a tendency to take over more than their fair share. As does rhubarb. And cucumbers. That is why your gardening friends will leave "gifts" of rhubarb and cucumbers and mint on your doorstep during the night.

Hey! Here are the seeds! I know this isn't proof that we planted, but at least you can see how organized we are.

And by the way, look at the size of that garden! Every time I go over to work, I feel a little nervous about how big it is. I mean, you could have a rugby match in that plot of earth!

Here it is. Can't you just picture a rugby match going on in the field?

Oh look, in the far corner you can see the herbs--growing like Methuselah's beard. We just hope the grass doesn't grow back like Methuselah's beard.

Here we see The Pooh as she plants the herbs. She plants the mint graciously into the Mint Pot. The mint is grateful for her care.

Didi, Face, and The Pooh were joined by our newest Yardener, Maineiac, as they planted the herbs. This is Maineiac's first foray in our back yard garden, and let me tell you, she really brings some cool weather expertise. We rely on her knowledge especially during these cold months.

Here we see Maineiac sowing seeds. Observe the graceful pendulum arm effect. She is a master.

During this herb-planting time, the Yardeners also spent a good deal of time weeding. I guess in a garden plot this size, having just been transformed from grass to garden, there is a tendency for the grass to want to come back. Especially because of the wonderful mulch and fertilizer that we spread all over. So we spent some time making sure this isn't going to happen.

And speaking of fertilizer, we have used some of the compost from the bin that we started over two years ago! It is a miracle that grapefruit peels, apple cores, and carrot peels can turn into wonderfully rich, incredibly glorious dirt! And no hint of smell! None!

The Pooh and Maineiac put together the ultimate herb garden. We are excited about making mint tea this summer! I myself plan on drinking some fresh, minty tea while weeding the nasty grass.

Stay tuned! The spinach is starting to poke its head out of the ground!

We've finished tearing up all the grass from the yard!

Thanks to two rototillers and the aching backs and sore arms of The Yardeners, all the grass has been piled behind our composter--never again to be seen inside the four walls of the garden. Bubba and Krizby broke ground last Saturday afternoon with a heavy-duty rototiller they rented from Home Depot. As Bubba struggled with the crazy beast that is the Home Depot rototiller, Krizby, The Pooh, Rourous, Jerry, and Coy (yeah!) picked up the cut up grass.

A word to the wise, and according to an ancient African Proverb: "It takes more than one pass to get up all that nasty grass!"

Also, let me just say, you never can tell what the deal is with dandelions. Even though we've taken up all them from the yard, we have for sure not seen the last of them. There have been a couple spurt out of the ground overnight! Whoa!

Here are some photos of our progress.

The beginning of it all. Bubba descends the stairs to help Krizby remove all the rototilled grass. He looks upon the destruction he has wrought with smug confidence. That's one strike against the encroaching dandelions.

Let me give you some pointers on using a rototiller. The way to control the speed of this beast is not to pull backwards against the forward push of the blades. That will only tire you out. Rather, push DOWN on the handle. Dig those blades into the soil. That will both slow it down and get more of that gross grass up.

This took me until about half-an-hour into it to realize.

Check out Coy and his 12-pronged rake skills! That man is crazy! This process took a loooooong time to finish. I mean, we wanted to be sure that we wouldn't be growing grass in the garden.

As we de-grassed the garden, Coy told us stories to pass the time. This was one story that Coy told: "There once was a little monster named Jimmy. everyone liked him so much that they told him to travel up this huuuuuge mountain to rescue the anonymous Cake Duffins who were trapped there. But Jimmy didn't like Cake Duffins so he decided to travel the seven seas instead but only ended up taking a bath. And this was exactly what his mom wanted him to do all week. The End"

The moral of the story is: "aim high and you will only do what you are supposed to do."

Face and Didi joined us after they got off work! Here is Face filling up the red wheelbarrow with sod.

Since they were the originators of this Wonderful Garden Idea, we received much wisdom from them on how best to de-grass a garden. We got it finished in no time.

So much depends on this red wheelbarrow. The Yardeners are very glad we have its services. Now if only we had some white chickens.

An Introduction

Let me introduce you to The Yardeners:

This is Krizby.

In terms of dedication, this girl ranks thirteen on a scale of one to ten. She told me the other day that, if it comes to it and everyone bails, she will weed the garden by herself. Blindfolded. With her teeth. She brings almost two years of gardening experience to the team, having grown flowers in a window box outside of her terrace.

She takes pictures.

This is Jerry.

He claims to have gardened before, and shows much promise. He is the shovel master and can weed even the smallest blade of grass from in between delicate lettuce leafs with deft proficiency. Jerry is currently using his skills elsewhere, but we are expecting his hours to jump quite a bit in about a month.

He has a girlfriend.

This is Rourous.

Having lived for years in Soviet Russia, this man can transform any physical object into the most useful of tools. After escaping the country, Rourous hid out in a toolshed and developed special "toolish" powers--becoming one with the other tools in the shed.

He is one of our most valuable Tools.

This is The Pooh.

Although very experienced in spreading fertilizer and mulch, The Pooh is our resident Realist. She keeps us out of the lofty skies above, and gets us to focus on ground-level (or should I say "garden-level") solutions. She most looks forward to the consumption of the Kale. She makes a wicked Brown-butter and Kale salad.

She is one of the few that participated in the Previous Garden.

This is Face.

Having grown up in France, she knows good food when she sees it. She has the uncanny ability to coax out only the best vegetables from the ground. I have seen her pacing the garden many an evening, reading Edna St. Vincent Millay to the seedlings.

She is my favorite.

This is Didi.

Most certainly the brains behind our endeavors, she puts the science into our Backyard Agriculture. Need to know which phase of the moon is best to plant beets in? Curious to know what to plant next to the broccoli? Didi's your girl. She regrets the fact that we are not growing any fruit in our garden, given that the apple is her favorite fruit.

She is looking forward to cooking the vegetables in a curry sauce.

This is Coy.

The youngest member of our group, Coy makes up for any lack of experience with "face time" with the garden. He is always there--some of us are not even sure if he goes home at night. Coy is an encourager and story-teller, and his words bring life to sore backs and aching muscles.

His tool of choice is the 12-pronged rake.

This is Bubba.

Having grown up in a family of gardeners (but never having ventured inside one until the age of 15), Bubba has the least experience in our group. We are hoping he surprises us with knowledge gained by osmosis. As an experienced musician, he has developed a hands-off approach and is the founder of "light touch" gardening.

He counts Nature as one of his best friends.

The Back Yard Garden

It was Face and Didi's idea to start with. We had tried to cultivate a garden two years ago, but then most of the laborers had left the country on a semester abroad program. And the garden languished, ripe vegetables getting burned by the sun, innocent rabbits staring at the rotting delectables.

So we decided to try again. And this time it would be bigger--about five times bigger than the last garden. Exact dimensions are 22ft by 49ft: over 1,000 sq ft. of garden. And this time we would plant more.

Here's the list of what we are planting:

-Peppers

-Eggplant

-Rosemary

-Sage

-Tarragon

-Zucchini

-Butternut Squash

-Tomatoes

-Basil

-Beets

-Broccoli

-Carrots

-Cucumbers

-Corn

-Lettuce

-Onions

-Radishes

-Arugula

-Kale

-Leek

-Spinach

-Thyme

-Green Beans

-Snap Peas

One thing is certain, we are not messing around.

So here begins the Many Wonderful Adventures of the Yardeners. Best of luck to us.